Rules regarding usage of the word "gay"...

[ijustinhk]

First of all, I am not trying to bring up fights and I am not a racist.

I have close friends (males and females) whom are homosexuals.

If you think this post offends you, I feel bad and you should feel bad too...

 

I got a warning around 2 weeks ago because I used the word "gay" in clan chat.

I was jumping on a bed with two other male players, (waiting for night so we can sleep to set re-spawn point), we had fun, and I said "this is so gay".

Mod said "you aren't supposed to use gay in a derogatory manner", and "that's your only warning".

At the moment I didn't know what "derogatory" means, I assumed mod has a point, so I apologized.

But later I looked up the dictionary and there is no way I used "gay" in a "derogatory" manner.

I could have avoid using that word but I absolutely don't think that's derogatory, or offensive, or has a negative meaning in any way.

 

When I got that warning, another player immediately asked "what if you use the word 'retarded'?"

Now I also want to add, what if I use the words "black", "girly", "manly", "Asian", "Christians", etc?

My friends won't even feel anything when I use that word.

 

I don't know whether that mod is homosexual or not. But I think I got the warning just because I used that word. Fortunately it's a warning instead of a ban, else I'd be very pissed... I think I'd be even more pissed if I am actually homosexual.

I am not sure if I can join the community meeting next week. So I post this here.

Thanks for your time reading this.

[Trooprm32]

When you said "this is so gay", without context, people will assume you meant it in a negative way. This is because that term has been thrown around in our society as a negative term for a long time. That word, and worse ones, have been used to discriminate against said people for a long time, and thats why this rule exists.

As for those other words, very seldomly do you see them used in any sentence, and in a negative matter.

It doesn't matter if you, or your friends are homosexual, the rules are meant to appease to a whole audience of players. Getting rid of this of this rule would make the servers a lot less enjoyable in my eyes.

 

Protip; stay away from potentially controversial words, and you'll be fine.

[GMMan]

This topic has been covered: https://nerd.nu/forum/index.php?/topic/20-banned-for-a-homophobic-or-racial-slur-read-this/

[Tharine]

Honestly, context is a huge factor in handling situations like these when they crop up. To put it in perspective, anyone else not in your group of friends at the time would have only seen your comment and not the fact that you were jumping on a bed with two males. Without that, and given that it's not commonplace nowadays to use the word 'gay' to describe something in a positive light, it's pretty reasonable to assume that it was a derogatory comment you were making. After explaining your side of the situation, I think things would have been understood by all parties involved and there would be no issue. I think a general rule of thumb to go by is that if it's a characteristic someone has little to no control over (e.g. gender, disability, sexual orientation, race, etc.) then it's generally considered not alright to use in a derogatory or mocking fashion. Not to seem like i'm advocating such behaviour, but obviously mocking someone for their interest in a particular game (for example) typically isn't going to warrant some kind of staff involvement, whereas doing the same for someone's race or gender, or similar, typically will.

[ijustinhk]

Does "our society" refer to players of nerd.nu, Reddit, USA or just the human society? I see the people living in 2013 are living in a modern society where homosexuals are common, and different kinds of people can stand up for their rights. People don't use the fuc-word back then but it's very common to say it now,  even there is a hit song "Forget You". Why it is ok for people to use the fuc-word, "broke back mountain", retarded, redhead, black, etc, but when I use that particular word, "people will assume you meant it in a negative way."?

That pro tip is what I am taking now. Great thanks for the input.

//

Thanks for the link. I now learn a new term "slur". Although I don't quite agree, I understand why I get that warning.

//

Of course mocking anyone for anything is not good.

But in my case, and I guess some similar cases in the Ban Appeals section, the "ban first, appeal later" practice is going to piss off more people than people who actually felt bad when they see a word that actually has no negative meaning appeared on chat.

Edited June 18, 2013 by ijustinhk

[SpiderMan]

Next time say "That's so RAVEN!"

Edited June 24, 2013 by gsand

[Cyotie911]

Topic is run its course. Questions have been answered. Closing.